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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Be Transformed by the Renewing of Your Mind


Tonight, a younger, not-so-mature co-worker said some things.  They were really hurtful things.  I had physical pain because of his words.  I became sick.  I'm not going to talk about them in detail because I don't want to hurt other people, or cause them to be angry.  I think anger is not the way to spread love, and I think love is a cure for what hurt me tonight.  Love, and understanding. 

I knew that there would be challenges because of Kheaven's diagnosis of down syndrome.  I focused on the things that could happen to him.  I didn't put a lot of thought on other people, though I read that was the only thing that ever really hurt other parents.  I read the words, but it wasn't personal to me.  It was personal tonight.  My co-worker didn't mean to hurt me, I know that. 

What got to me was that someone was reffering to a group without true knowledge of that group, saying awful things, having no idea that those things were very personal to me.  My baby has said "I love you" since he was three months old.  He says "mama" and "brother" and "Ohhh boy" and has repeated a number of other words.  He is the smartest baby I have met at his age.  Even if he wasn't, even if he didn't have that gift, he would still not deserve to be classified and thought of the way my co-worker did.

My co-worker tried to make up for it by saying his cousin has Ds, which just made me more confused...  and then he said, "but your baby's cute."

-???!!!-

All babies are a gift, all babies have gifts!  So many of the children that I read about with special needs, and without, touch peoples lives.  The blogs I read are mainly Christian mommies, mommies of children with special needs, and photographers.  They are all beautiful people who leave imprints on my heart. 

I am sad because of the negative things I heard tonight.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about them at all because I don't want to spread the negativity.  I know the truth, and that's what matters.  I'm sorry to the other parents I know who go through similar things.  I didn't know what it felt like, and now I do.  I'm sorry.  I don't know your kids, or any of you that well.  I know what I read about you.  You all do hold a special place in my heart though.  I learn from you, and I feel your pain and your joy when I read about your lives.  And as sorry as I am that any of us have to go through this, I am happy that we can lean on and learn from each other.

6 comments:

jen@odbt said...

I'm so sorry your coworker was so insensitive. Have you read this mom's blog @ http://www.kellehampton.com/ ? You both share a positive perspective and I know your life with your little boy will be amazing.

Foursons said...

I'm so sorry you had to experience that pain. It is hard when you or your child is judged because of a disability. I pray that you can find peace and comfort through the pain and love your little boy that God has granted you with.

He & Me + 3 said...

Words are so powerful. I am sorry that someone's words were used to hurt instead of heal. Praying for your sweet heart.
Hugs,
Mimi

Jireh Ministries Foundation, Inc said...

I have always said that if you want to have a glimpse of an angel of God, take a good look at a Downs child and experience their unconditional love.

Rachel said...

I am so sorry.

I've experienced comments about myself firsthand when people don't realize that I can lipread.

And all you can really do sometimes is hope to encourage someone to empathize.

I think you are right - most people don't mean to hurt you with words. I would love to see the day when everyone is appreciated for their differences.

By the way - he was absolutely spot on when he said Kheaven is cute! And he is a vital member of your sweet family!

Nicole.Ann said...

It's hard when people ignorantly or even knowingly say such hurtful, uneducated things about groups of people.

And it's also hard I've noticed to answer people's questions when they don't understand that along with the challenges that special needs comes with, there come so many gifts and blessings. And that they are still unique amazing human beings!!

Being a mom of a special needs kid has to be harder than what I've experienced as your emotions are more attached and more raw than mine, or at least I assume.

But I try to approach each obstacle I face in regards to those who say uneducated hurtful things geared towards special needs as an educational opportunity.

I don't excuse your co-workers behavior, and don't like that he tried to cover up his words by saying that his cousin has DS and blah blah blah, but maybe that night you were a light to him in that area. It's so hard because words hurt a lot, more than anything else sometimes....but we can combat those words by educating others...or at least attempting to.

I love you Amy. Stay strong :-)